Grading On A...?

 

University professors in different departments grade their exams
and assign semester grades differently. For example:

DEPARTMENT of PSYCHOLOGY:
Students are asked to blot ink in their
final exam books, then close them and turn them in. The professor
opens the book, looks at the ink blot, then assigns the first
grade that comes to mind.

DEPARTMENT of HISTORY:
Students will receive the same grade they got last year.

ENGLISH DEPARTMENT:
Your final grade will be scored by totaling
the weight of all the books you have read this semester.

DEPARTMENT of LAW and JUSTICE:
Students must submit a plea for a
good grade, then defend their position for wanting it.

DEPARTMENT of PHILOSOPHY:
What is a grade, really, in the final analysis?

DEPARTMENT of ECONOMICS:
All grades are tied in to the Consumer
Price Index and adjusted for inflation after calculating and
applying the common variables in the most recent Standard & Poor's
500 ratings.

DEPARTMENT of ATHLETICS:
A passing grade is only four more laps away.

DEPARTMENT of MATHEMATICS:
Grades will be appointed based on a standard bell curve, with
non-random clusters at the mean and median points.

DEPARTMENT of PHYSICS:
Physics is essentially an applied dimension
of mathematics. See above.

DEPARTMENT of CHEMISTRY:
Chemistry is basically another form of
applied physics. See above.

DEPARTMENT of BIOLOGY:
Biology is theoretical chemistry applied to
known quantities of matter. See above.

DEPARTMENT of COMPUTER SCIENCE:
Your grade is only as good as the
work you have submitted. Garbage in, garbage out.

DEPARTMENT of THEATER:
A B? Or not a B? *THAT* is the question.