Funny Stuff
The ABC of Ex-GirlFriend.
 

Written by an angry man who was just dumped...sort of a salute to the feelings everyone feels when being dumped

LETTER MEANING


A is for Arteries. You know, the things that your ex-girlfriend
ripped out because she really didn't care for you twit she was only after your
money and could have given a shit about you.


B is for Bitter. Who, me?? No way. I really hope things between them
do work out. I hope they get married and have 2 children that are little devils
and her hips get huge and his eyebrows finally grow completely together and
they get fat and old together and then DIE!!


C is for Call ya later. She won't. She never has before.


D is for Dumped. Does D need to be explained?


E is for Eating like a pig. Remember when you took her out and she
said "I'm not hungry" so you figured you could take her to a nice place because
you were able to afford a nice meal at this fine restaurant. Then she ate more
than your Uncle Roy (you remember Uncle Roy the one with the mustard stains on everything). So you flip the bill and are broke for the next two weeks
and she wonders why you were unable to call her that week and go see movies.


F is for Friends. That is what she just wants to be. As if you can even stand
to look at her.


G is for Gun. And yes there is a waiting period

.
H is for Horny. Remember when she looked nice and even had a
personality? Well, you figure it out.


I stands for I still hate her. Odds are I always will, unless she
calls me and offers me favors.


J stands for Jim. This is her new boyfriend. Doesn't Jim have a nice
car? Doesn't Jim have a good job? Why does Jim want to date her? I think Jim
could do much better. I hate Jim. Jim is my mortal enemy.


K stands for Kill (remembering it's still illegal).


L is for Love. It's a great euphoric feeling that exists between two
people and is shared upon by both parties.


M stands for Mephistopheles. That is who she worked for.


N stands for Necropheliac. She didn't move very much, did she?


O is for On top. When on top she has another O word.


P is for Pill. She said she was on it. She lied. She is now suing you
for a few hundred bucks a month.


Q is for Quitter. She couldn't last.


R is for Rich little Witch. She bought my love but I paid for it.


S stands for Stab. Stabbing would be fun (Still illegal!!!).


"S" is also for Steve. Steve was the guy that was sleeping with her.
Steve is a bad person. Perhaps you should stab Steve.


T is for torture. Torture is what she did. She tortured you with the
truth. She also tortured you with lies. She even tortured you with whips and
hand-cuffs.


U is for Understatement. Saying you hate that her is an understatement.


V is for Voluptuous. That is the primary reason you were dating her
in the first place.


W stands for Wine. The expensive wine she loved to order when you
went out.


"W" is also for the water you enjoyed, not being able to afford
anything else to eat.


X is for Xylophone. Because X is always for xylophone.


Y stands for You suck! Remember when she yelled that at you.


Z stands for the last one...which she won't be...